Thursday, January 05, 2006

ME,MASOCHISM AND NARCISSISM

Some sufferings are inevitable, some are enjoyable (!) and many others are accidental. But ever thought of pains that arise out of a systematic planning, flawless execution much to the pleasure of the pain-bearer. If you think I am alluding to the antics of a masochist, this post will disprove that line of thought.

It was ten in the morning. I was alone in there. Of course, ten in the morning is quite early considering that Christmas partying is still hanging in the air around. But then, this is the guileless city of Visakhapatnam where people prefer family to wild partying, where still western style of socializing is not widely popular, or simply, where late night parties are rare. (I have given myself freedom from digressing from current issues by choosing an apt heading for my blog but i will try to provide occasional insinuations to the current topic of purpose).Right then, I was alone in there.( this sentence is cleverly repeated to get the reader back into a speculative mood….oh but now I think I spoiled it again….).All sorts of doubts started sprouting in my mind….Is he credible? Is it bearable? Is it popular?


So, the moment has arrived. I entered the room. It was a big chamber with around eight transparent partitions and a lot of sophisticated equipment. “Certainly, a state-of-art ache inducing facility in Visakhapatnam”. But to my surprise,there were already people inside the Chamber. There was a row of supine bodies, oblivion minds and tense nerves but failed to realise that I would soon join them.


He was really fast. The torch-bearer, glove-wearer, equipment holder seemed to be an acumen of amputation.He was playfully paining my fellow insane brothers and was approching me fast.Five….four…three…two…one….and my share of luck arrived. He examined me and quickly realised the gravity of situation and suggested that there were two kinds of long-term pain inducing strategies that could be adopted. One is an Indian technique which would be less time consuming and also less effective. Another one is an internationally followed version, although costly,the results are known to be more reliable and the pain is sustainable.


Second option seemed more sensible, killing blow first. No sooner that I conveyed my response in affirmative, he was on his job. "The best way to accomplish our mission is by amputating FOUR of your body parts and….” I did not, actually could not, hear the statements that followed because i knew that there is no looking back now and had to acquiesce to his plans. Four of my intricate, inner integral parts have to be sacrificed but all this had to be done for the pious aim of target achievement.. “Do whatever you want, I want results of highest international standards” , I informed him.


“Two in the morning, two in the evening, some finishing work and other tips for pain sustenance- tomorrow”, he chalked out the plan and he showed that he was a stickler of perfection by executing it with immaculate precision of pain causing.Everything went according to the plan, payment requirements fulfilled; he promised that he will take utmost care for the suffering to be prevalent for eight to ten months, provided I visit him monthly once.


Discipline, dedication and devotion is necessary to fulfill any goal. I realized this within ten days of this experience and now in this state of aphasia, I once again pledge that I would continue to abstain from any sensual pleasures like eating pizzas and all and would be professionally puritanical in brushing my teeth twice a day.

Yes!, if you did not guess until now, I was at the dentist and the driving force was narcissistic pleasure than anything else.

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